...more trees lately

What do I do with time off, time to discern? I woke up this morning and twisted the little Ficus tree so it will grow more evenly. The new leaves have been standing straight up, greeting the light as it comes through the window. They are so funny standing on end like that! The older, wiser leaves lay down, bowing heavily and darker green. They are a little dusty, but they are also more trusting. They wait for the light to move toward them, I suppose. So I turned the pot just right because I don’t want this proud little tree to end up fluffy and full on one side or worse, leaning in fear that the light only loves one side.
This is what I do with time to discern. I look around at the new growth and the old growth. I think of leaning toward the light of the future and how earnestly I have done this. I think of my dusty, trusty parts as they bow to the future. There are new goals simply because there is new growth. I need to twist myself away, to turn away from the light so the new growth will twist too. I need to pull myself carefully away from the source or I will end up fluffy on one side and deprived on another. It isn’t a matter of waiting until there is something better to turn to (God is all around!). Rather, it is a matter of trusting that there is enough good light all around me and I must turn, must twist a little away and face the future.

and I found an old scrap of paper in my copy of Nouwen's In the Name of Jesus that says:
You have so much desire and I hope you always will but I want for you to learn to use it in ways that satisfy, or lead you to the God of those desires. Listen to all the desires: they will lead you, they will always lead to God.

and also, I found this:
This handsome ornamental is
dramatically colored in most seasons
with bright green foliage turning
orange and red in autumn, purple and
white flowers in spring, and young red
fruit in summer. The seeds of this and
other maples are consumed by
songbirds, game birds, and large and
small mammals. The scientific name,
meaning "rounded" or "circular," refers
to the leaf shape.
in the National Audubon Society field guide to trees of the western region.

its a lovely poem about a lovely tree...